This one is almost too scary for me to share… but since I write and coach on how living badass + brilliant life involves courage and vulnerability, here goes.
I remember vividly sitting on the curb in a back alley in Philly late at night, sobbing my eyes out to my best friend. I’d just been dumped and my heart was aching and I was angry. It always felt like things just didn’t work out with the guys I liked. (Sidenote, I was 22.)
Fast forward several years, when I realized that there had been plenty of guys who did like me. But I only ever focused on the “failures,” the unrequited loves, the things that didn’t work out and made me feel badly about myself.
What’s up with only seeing our failures or limitations, and keeping all of our huge wins and learnings on the periphery?!
I’ve been learning this lesson again lately. I’ve had a lot of things that I’ve been tempted to call “failures” in the last 15 months. And I hate it. And I’m not used to it. And I’m embarrassed to share it with you.
But I am, because that’s what badass is. Owning your shadowy parts and living bigger than them.
So, I didn’t write the book. I didn’t sell out the program. I didn’t hit my first (and absurd) revenue goal. People said no. My audience isn’t 5K. My house gets maddeningly messy.
Dark hole of doom and gloom. Totally useless. AND, totally FALSE.
Yes, those things happened. And, it also happened that I wrote 50 blog posts, published articles in the HuffPost, did speaking gigs, got paid to do what I LOVE helping people make huge changes in their lives, learned more technology than I thought my brain was capable of, quadrupled my audience, people said yes, and I kept going. And going.
I learned a TON. Some believe that there is no failure, only learning. My recovering perfectionist is striving to embrace this mindset.
Where are you seeing only your “failures?”
And do this instead. Reflect on all the things that are actually working. All the areas where you’ve learned or grown.
You can do this in your relationships, your career, your creative endeavors. Anything. Go for it full out.
You worked out twice. (Not, I only worked out twice.)
My husband thanked me for making dinner. (Not, he never acknowledges me for all that I do.)
I wrote 100 pages. (Not, I’m still not finished my book.)
I had a baby. (Not, I didn’t lose the 10 lbs.)
I guarantee that you are making strides in your life. That you are learning and evolving. That your “failures” are largely outnumbered by your victories… if you pay attention.
And if you have a friend who doesn’t see how freakin’ amazing she is, please share this with her.
Yours in living a badass + brilliant life,
xo
Sage
When we only look at failures, we keep all our huge wins & lessons on the periphery Click To Tweet
