Fact vs. Fiction: Are you lying to yourself? - Sage B. Hobbs

The sun is finally shining again after a five day fog and rain bonanza.  Clearly, I’m spoiled by the typically gorgeous weather.

 

But the rainy days have been awesome for digging into writing.  My brain is stretching, and my mind chatter is in full swing, as I work on my first book.  And strive to keep the other parts of my life running smoothly (like planning an upcoming 5 week road trip, hosting family, working with clients, and celebrating my 7 year old’s birthday. How can he be that old? And how can I therefore be that old?!)

 

So, this week I’m offering bite-sized food for thought about something I think about A LOT in my life and my work.

 

Fact vs. Fiction  (This idea can change EVERYTHING)

 

Have you ever considered that what you perceive to be “fact” may in actuality be “fiction”?

 

Not to get all philosophical, but what if you explored the areas of your life that you treat as if they are hard and fast realities?

 

What if you started seeing that most of those “realities” are based on your own interpretations?

Let’s take a quiz.  Fact or fiction?

“My husband’s inconsiderate.” = FICTION

“My husband left the cabinets open again.” = FACT

“I’m can’t get that promotion because I’m not smart enough.” = FICTION

“There are 3 other women applying for the promotion so I have competition.” = FACT

“I’m fat, so I can’t play in the ocean happily in front of all these people.” = FICTION

“I weigh more now than I did before I had kids.” = FACT

 

It’s important to realize that our thoughts happen crazy quickly.  It’s automatic to place meaning on everything that happens, all of the time.

 

The trick is to be aware of this human behavior, so you have more choice and freedom with how you interpret the things that happen in your life.

 

What if you could begin to see the difference between fact and fiction, so you didn’t get so hurt or disappointed?

 

For example, perhaps your husband isn’t aiming to be inconsiderate but he has a habit of leaving the cabinets open.  While you’re allowed to be irritated, it doesn’t have to be a broad sweeping “reality” about his behavior that makes you dislike him and strains your partnership.

 

And then, what if you could choose different “realities,” or create new fiction, that made you much happier, more empowered, and improve your relationships?

 

So, instead of thinking that you’re so fat, you could try thinking you’re a badass for carrying and delivering two human beings.  (I know this one trips women up, but really, it’s just as likely a story to tell yourself!)

 

I talk more about this idea, with many examples, in a short video.  You can watch here. 

 

When you become masterful at seeing fact from fiction, you can transform your ability to connect and relate with people in your life.  Including your relationship with yourself.

 

In the comments below, I’d love to know, where have you made fiction in your life and it’s not served you well?

To more truth telling, deeper connections, and lots of love,

Sage

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